Friday, December 30, 2011

White Trash Party

Over the years I've had a number of crazy fun parties.  Actually, my New Year's parties are starting to take on a life of their own.  The first one I ever did was a murder mystery party, which didn't go over as well as I'd hoped.  Soon I realized that it was not the idea that did not go over so well, it was that I had not planned ahead and really thought about my theme as well as I should have.

I like to make sure that my guests have fun and always pick my New Year's party over anyone else's, so I try to think of something fun and interesting that everyone can get into.

"White Trash Expo" (as I liked to call it) was probably one of the more fun parties I've had... a close second to "The Match Game" (which, I'll cover in another post… stay tuned!).   To start, "White Trash Expo" is a party when your friends and guests can come dressed in, well, just about anything... and sometimes (depending on who you invite) next to nothing!   ~  Oh, and it's one of the cheapest parties I've ever had to throw!   Definitely good on the budget!

Here are a few quick ideas to start you off with:*

MENU:  (this is simple)
* Anything you buy MUST be generic.  No name brands here!  Even your drinks have to be generic!
* Leave everything in the bag/packaging... no need to take it all out and make it fancy
* Drinks: leave it all in the bottles or cans... have your friends/guests drink it right out of the bottle ~ or put it in a brown paper bag and let them drink it that way!

* Buy a bunch of temporary tattoos and set up a tattoo booth.  Everyone that comes through the door has to have (no less than) 2 tattoos (or whatever number you feel is the most fun).    ~ I found packs of Ed Hardy tattoos at the drug store.  These worked great!
* Find a bucket of some sort and make a beer punch bowl (make sure the beer is generic).
* Use the empty beer cans from the punch bowl, string them together with wire and hang them somewhere.  ~ If you don't want to hang them up.. make a beer can tower)

GAMES: (please no drinking and driving!)
* Beer pong (just don't make the same mistake as we did and start mixing cheap generic beer with malt beer... not good!)
* Fastest beer drinking contest (do it the old fashion way - poke a hole in the bottom of the can, pop the top, and drink from bottom hole (this game really helps with the next game))
* Burping contest


* If you have your friends/guests dress up (which I highly recommend) have them do a fashion show for everyone.  Make a little runway down your hall into your kitchen... down your hall into your livingroom... whatever works!
* Make sure to have prizes for best and worst dressed  (I used a can of SPAM & a fake snuggie - which we named "The Faux-ggie")



* Put curlers in your hair and leave them
* Add a pillow under a really short dress and pretend to be pregnant... then make sure you have a fake cigarette & a bottle of beer or wine in your hands at all times. ~ Oh, don't forget the fish-net stockings!
* Add some black make-up around one eye to give yourself a black eye
* Find a pair of tight sweats that say "Juicy" across the butt... push them down to your hips (make sure the legs drag on the ground).  Add a beat-up pair of bedroom slippers and you're set!
* Tight white tank top... but, make sure it's dirty
* You could either go with no make-up or too much make-up! Either works great!
* Ok, I could go on and on so, just use your imagination!


* "Bubba teeth" are awesome for the guys ~ creepy, yet fun!
* Anything camo works great
* Bib overalls - make sure they're way too big ~ but, only have one strap up, let the other one hang
* Cut the sleeves off an old ratty shirt OR a white tank top works well (if it's smeared in grease, so much the better!)
* Make sure you wear tighty-whites (and make sure that they're always showing!)
* Belly or butt-crack showing works well, too
* Again, I could go on and on with this...
* The costumes should be fun and funny.  Don't spend a lot of money buying stuff.  If you don't have anything like this, go to a second-hand store and find an outfit for $5 and make it look how you want it.  The funnier the better I say!!

If you have any sort of contest, make sure to have little prizes for the winners.  Go to the dollar store and buy some cheap stuff.   A fake swiss army knife, grenade lighter (yes, I actually found one of these), a shirt that says "Wal-Mart" on it, fake snuggie, can of SPAM, camo trucker hat, anything generic or just plain fun will work just fine.

I hope you find this party idea as fun as we did.  I had a great time planning it, and it was even more fun being there.  I think the best part was watching everyone come through the door in their costumes.  The costumes were almost more fun than the actual party!

One more thing: don't forget your camera!  You never know when you'll need blackmail material.


* No offense is intended by this post!

Friday, October 14, 2011

"Case" in Point - UPDATED!

So, Tammie received her jewelry satchel today... and is ecstatic!  Here she is showing it off:

And yes, her previously bagged jewelry is snuggled safely inside!

(As a side note, she got a new iPhone this morning...  She is more excited about the satchel than she is the phone!)


Thursday, October 6, 2011

"Case" in Point....

So today I am at work discussing "The Sapphire Key" with some co-workers.  My office neighbor had not seen the site yet, so I go to her office with her to log in to it.  She's perusing around, and she comes to the jewelry satchel section.  As she's reading it, she starts cackling.  Like a hen.  She leans over, gets her purse, and pulls out this:

Tammie carries her jewelry around in her purse, and her gym bag, in plastic baggies.  YES!  Plastic baggies!  Through her laughter, she says "Just go ahead and bring me one of the satchels." 

"Case" in point, readers.  No need to carry your jewels in baggies - purchase a proper "case" for them - the jewelrysatchel!


Friday, September 23, 2011

Football Basics - What You NEED to Know

Football season has started.  College games... NFL... Saturday and Sunday hijacking of the TV....

Cute kid clothes have started to emerge from closets reflecting Daddy's favorite team.  But what about Mommy's team?  In our house, we are split: Mom is a Cowboys fan, Dad is a Jaguars fan, Matty (the dog) is a Bears fan.  Charlotte, our daughter, has not expressed a preference... yet.  When she is old enough to pick her team, I don't really care who she picks - as long as she understands the basics of football.

I took Football 101 in high school... but it did not make sense to me.  We focused on different play routes, a 3-4 split versus a 4-3, penalties.  Yeah, that's all well and good if I wanted to play Madden.  What I wanted was a basic understanding.  Instead I received information overload and lost interest in all the mechanics.  Over the years I've learned the basics of football, and it really makes the sport so much more enjoyable to watch!

So, now I am going to give you a (very) basic lesson in football.  This post is intended for the person who has very little, or even non-existent, knowledge of football.  If this is not you, then you may want to find something else to read for awhile. 
Ready?  Here we go.

A football field is 100 yards long, marked in 5-yard increments by white lines called "hash marks."  At each end is the goal post.  The 50 yard line is the center of the field.  The unmarked areas that are between the zero yard line and the goal post are called the "endzones."  Each endzone is 10 yards long.   The areas between each zero yard line and the 20 yard line are called the "red zones."  When you see the football field, you will notice that the field does not go from 0-100, but instead goes from 0-50-0.  A football game is made of 4 quarters.  Each quarter is 15 minutes long.  Between the second and third quarter is halftime. 

The "offense" is the team trying to get the ball to the endzone (the team that is taking "their turn").  The "defense" is the team trying to prevent the other team from scoring.  There is also a group called "special teams" that get involved when the ball is going to be kicked.  Each side is only allowed 11 men on the field at a time.  Any more than that could result in a penalty.  The object in football is to score the most points.  There are a number of ways a player can score points.  The first is to score a touchdown.  This is done when a player either carries the ball into the endzone, or catches the ball in the endzone.  This is worth 6 points.  When this happens, the scoring team has the opportunity to go for either a one- or two-point conversion.  If they kick the ball through the goal post, then it is a one-point conversion.  If they decide to either carry or catch the ball in the endzone, it is a two-point conversion.

Another way to score is to make a field goal.  A field goal is worth 3 points, and it is done by kicking the ball through the goal post.  (Remember, this move is called an extra-point conversion if it happens immediately after a touchdown.)  Another common scoring possibility is a "safety."  This occurs when an offensive player is tackled in their own endzone (the one behind them) by the defense.  It will usually be the quarterback who is tackled; although it is sometimes one of the offensive players trying to carry the ball out of the endzone.  When this happens, the defense gets 2 points. 

So how is the ball moved down the field?  By either throwing or carrying the ball.  The offense gets 4 chances to go 10 yards.  When the offense gets those 10 yards, they get 4 more chances.  Each chance is called a "down."  So when you hear "first and ten," that means the offense is on its first down (chance) and has to get 10 yards.  If you hear "third and eight," that means the offense has gained 2 yards,  is on its third chance ("down"), and has 8 more yards to go.  Sometimes you will hear something like "second and 18" -- this means that there was a penalty which added more yards for the offense to cover.   (Different penalties are assessed different yardage amounts or loss of downs.)  When the offense gets to their fourth down, they either have to score, get their remaining yardage, or kick the ball (called a "punt") to the other team.

While the offense is trying to move the ball down the field, the defense is trying to take the ball away from them.  This can be done by either intercepting the ball as it is being thrown by the quarterback to another offensive player, or by causing and offensive player to fumble the ball so the defense can pick it up.  The defense is also going to try to prevent the offense from getting downs.  The defense is going to do everything they can to keep the offense as close to their endzone that they can.  This back-and-forth will continue until the game ends.

Okay, that was your basic lesson.  I did not get into the different players, the penalties, play routes, etc -- that is a whole separate post!  I hope this information has been helpful, and helps you understand football next time it is on tv.